I was struggling to sleep last night (again) and I lay there asking myself why. And after some patient breathing and listening, the answer that came was boredom. Bored of being stuck in certain patterns that are really not serving me.
Bed time - I loathe it. As I write this I recognise I need to learn to love it and then I will sleep! Anyway, the reason I find it stressful is the whole house comes alive and all I want to do is go to bed. Then when I am about to go to sleep someone wants to ask me something and boom I am awake again. It is like they forget. And I have allowed this to happen so I take full responsibility! I appreciate I go to bed early but it is a need as I have created a physical life and quite honestly I feel we all go to bed too late anyway, thanks to screens and awesome tv series! They have been my weakness over the summer months so actually bed time has not been so early!
Anyway, I guess I found myself just looking at areas of my life and thinking ... no... I just cannot do that anymore. I am going to go mad. It was a wake up call of you need to keep leading a ship but you cannot carry it. Yes, things might go topsy turvy for a bit but you will have to embrace those moments and know that by leading the way you are being a better example than by trying to hold everyone up.
Having worked f.... hard on myself over the past 15 years to be a better person, wife, friend and parent, I just cannot watch the next generation do what myself and so many of my generation have done, which is get lost in stimulants of all kinds to then crash and wake up going, 'HELP.' Why do we have to do that, it is just procrastination. We are putting off sharing with the world who we really are and what we are here to do.
I have recently applied to a school to teach and the amount of forms I have had to fill in is insane. Where has the personal element gone. Of course they MUST make sure we have no criminal record and check out who we are but there are more forms than personal touches, feelings and gut instinct. And the really, really sad thing is is that it is putting people off going into these caring professions as the work is not about sharing their creativity and brilliance ( teaching, medicine, etc) it is about covering ones ass in case they make a mistake or say something wrong. Consequently there is no trust. And with no trust there is huge amounts of fear and what ifs! And guess what this makes us all stressed because we are pressing that button that says to our bodies - RUN! Surely, we need to make some big changes. To start listening to each other would be a really good start. Really listening. To stop judging would be superb. God how we love to judge. Just to take our attention away from ourselves. I mean, seriously, so many scenarios we create in our head are bullshit and so many of our perceptions are only our perceptions, so we CAN change those. That is the magic of the mind. We can take control of it! Imagine what a beautiful world we could create if we were all living from our hearts not our heads!
So, maybe take a moment to check in with areas that frustrate you in life and work out if you can make some changes. Little by little. Life is too short to live in stagnant energy it really is. Take a moment to step away from everyone else's opinion, however highly regarded they are and step into your heart. What does YOUR heart say? We cannot change the world on our own but we can certainly contribute to the energy that floods it. Filling it with love rather than constant fear.